A Friday Without Worries

Running is fun. News is important.

Today, on this Friday, not a cloud floats in the sky. If there is one, its soft and delicate. Calming like the soft wind that blows these trees outside my window as I write this.

Sometimes I feel like I've always worried myself, even stressed myself. Then, it was school. Maybe girls. Some stand-up performance I was doing. But somehow I've always made it through. My life hasn't burned to the ground. I owe good family and friends for a lot of that. I also myself for that. And now, as I reflect on a Friday where I can't help but smile, I won't stress. In fact, I find it difficult to stress.

My current circumstances aren't the worst, but probably not the best. As a freelancer, I struggle to pay bills and sometimes feel guilty for choosing to be a freelancer (why don't I just wait tables? oh wait, I did that, and got laid off). I worry about family. I stress about accepting and conforming to the rigors of living the life of a comic. I wonder where I'm going with life. I live in a house with quite possibly the laziest person in the world -- beavis meets butthead meets various half-baked character meets "Super High Me" character (this guy's favorite movie) meets the dude. As a result, the house is constantly a mess. Even when its somewhat clean, he has a way of shitting it up. To try to maintain a bit of credibility, I'll stop myself now. Including the disclosure about the various puppies filling up the back yard due to the roommate's inability to spay his dog. Ok, so I'm ranting.

I'm going to stop. In May, I'll be out of this place. Plus, hell, I live in LA. I live by the beach. I have my own dog that's cute as hell. The pups are cute, too. I'm working hard to build my business. I'm taking chances. When there's a crowd, and I'm not drunk, the people tend to laugh.

Bills will still be there. Crazy people, too. Maybe, I'm crazy and don't realize it. Probably.

But I'm going to stop now.

Because today I ran a couple hard mile loops and now my legs feel a bit heavy, but relaxed. It was as sunny as it ever could have been. Good music on the ride back. McD's had Fish Filet Fridays. The level of Mercury in my body has now reached a "too close for comfort level" but I don't care.

It's Friday, baby. If you haven't gotten out of the house, do it. Milk the sun. Milk the weekend for all its worth. Get excited! Smile. The act of smiling actually forces you to be in a better mood. Seriously, I read that from some credible source, I think.

To wrap this up, I've got two songs. I think they speak to what I'm feeling much more than my stream of conscience that's being blurted on this page. Take a listen and happy Friday!

(my suggestion: watch w/o the video)

Third Eye Blind: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lXRLEyIoJZA

Snow Patrol: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FfZUxPF7AMI

Obama Bigger Than God, Queen Gets Ipod, Sarkozy Still More Fiesty Than a 1 Yr Old Chiuaua

All of which are extremely accurate headlines from the ongoing G20 Summit in London, England. If you're not familiar, the G20 is an economic summit between the 20 wealthiest countries in the world where they discuss the intricacies of frolfing, the 20 finest places to go windsurfing, and sweater vests, all the while touching on the global shit storm that is the economy.

Its easy to criticize, pawn off blame on the leaders of these countries, on the respective elected officials, on global corporations and greedy Wall Street people. However, its not completely accurate. We all have blood on our hands. After all, we are the ones who vote, both in the ballot box and with our pockets.

The reality is that we need these leaders more than ever. We don't need everyone to agree on everything. We need dissent. We need argument. But we need results. We need our leaders to eventually reach agreements that move us forward (and sort of fast).

One interesting fact a friend of mine pointed out. It was reported the other day that roughly 87% of the world's wealth sits in the hands of these 20 countries. Mind you, according to my stout research (about.com) there are 195 counties in the world. In a microcosmic way, this is reflected within individual countries when accurately assessing the disparity between rich and poor. In a capitalistic country, the wealth of a nation is in many ways reflective of the size of its middle class.

And just before you jump ahead of me Ayn Rand fans, I'm not preaching socialism. What I am saying is that there is a fine line between capitalism and Darwinism. Google, Microsoft, and Dell are not finite natural resources (in case you live in the greater LA area and have to quickly navigate across the God-Forsaken town). The bubble can get larger, grow bigger. As South Park accurately pointed out recently, the economy is an idea, not a supernatural God. Wealth can grow because money is arbitrary. On a similar note, putting a dollar sign on a job doesn't denote its total value. A teacher and a nurse are not subservient to a CEO.

So what's the conclusion of this blog? Work together and pull together. Support each other. "The whole is more than the sum of its parts," says Aristotle. And hope the leaders of the G20 do the same. And one day there will be a G25 Conference consisting of countries with 87% of the world's wealth.

Quick update: England's PM Gordon Brown proposes $1 trillion bailout for the world!
http://www.cnn.com/video/flashLive/live.html?stream=stream1

On a lighter note, I've composed a G20 March Madness Bracket based on who would win in a wealth-off. Stay tuned to my next post to see who advanced to the Elitest 10:

2 China
19 Argentina (Boise, ID)

7 Italy
14 Netherlands (Boise, ID)

4 Japan
17 Turkey (Miami, FL)

6 India
15 Korea (Miami, FL)

1United States
20 Indonesia (Raleigh, NC)

5 France
16 South Africa (Raleigh, NC)

3 Great Britain
18 Mexico (Atlanta, GA)

8 Canada
13 Saudi Arabia (Atlanta, GA)

9 Germany
12 Spain (Cincinnati, OH)

10 Russia
11 Brazil (Cincinnati, OH)

Beatles: Come Together http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BJqNxKdgyqM

Back Home

I've been away from the blog for a week now because of a trip back home. I went back to Jacksonville for a wedding of two good friends, both of whom I've known since early elementary school.

It was a fantastic event, held in a beautiful church with many family and friends present.

Weddings are those type of events. Benchmarks in our lives. Not just for those getting married but for those who attend. For me, this was my first wedding ever. I was a groomsman which came with a small amount of responsibility and a large amount of free boos. Honored to be a part of it.

This time around, going back home was a calming experience for me. I think it had to do with the fact I was able to catch up with old friends I hadn't talked to in a while. One of my friends, Dave, was also a groomsman. We hadn't really hung out too often since high school, 6 years ago. Somehow, it was like nothing had changed. In fact, it was probably more fun...we could legally drink this time. The groom, Jason, was in his prime as well. And our closest friend, Natural Light, was a rock through it all.

Going back home was also a calming experience because, for the first time, I noticed a pretty homogenous high school and even college group branching off into individual pathways. Watching people take chances, deciding to settle down with a partner, working in ad sales, making lots of money, all this was happening all around me with my friends and sinking in for the first time. In a much more personal way than facebook could ever attest to.

It was most calming because I was truly starting to feel ownership over the decisions I had made and the acceptance and approbation of the decisions others were. When you grow up in a bubble like I did, things get competitive. Sometimes that can be good, but sometimes it gets unhealthy. Even without acknowledgement of it, there's a vacuum in the air that sucks people into the lives of others. We then play on the level of others, worrying about keeping up with the guy next door on the girl in your same graduating class. I've constantly fought this on my own.

Life decisions, the paths that people choose, have no right or wrong. Life is. And its very interesting to stand back and watch sometimes.

Congratulations Jason and Kristen!

Now, I'm off to protest the G20 Summit in England. My cause? I'm pro recycling condoms.

Best college commerical?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zsid-Y13Pf8&feature=related

or

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pVENWl8uBeg

Remember the Dixie Chicks

I'm writing this on a friend's laptop back home in Florida. Right now, President Obama is on TV and the Internet addressing questions through a "town-hall" style meeting, answering questions via YouTube submissions as well as a live audience in the same room as him.

It is important to never act as a partisan. Democrat or Republican nor Liberal or Conservative. By nature, I'm not a partisan person, nor do I believe anyone is. By nature, in groups, we can be partisan -- take sides, be reactive, not address complex issues in a thoughtful way, in George Carlin's words "people in groups wear stupid hats." Its easier that way. However, as individuals, we think different.

Much like how someone is born into a certain society or culture, a certain religion, a family of intolerance, environment plays a huge role in what we know, what we don't know, and how we know or don't know. Worse off, one tends to shut out other viewpoints and even worse off, his or hers own logic is censored.

Partisanship isn't disagreeing or arguing, either. In fact, when partisanship gets really bad, rational arguments actually stop happening! Absurdity. And why do these arguments fail? Because the approach for partisans is to win or lose. Many people don't engage in arguments because they don't want this battle.

For truly smart people, the goal is not to win or lose. The goal is to move the conversation forward. The idea is to learn from each other through conversation, through arguing different sides, figuring out what approach or idea makes the most sense based on history and the present circumstances.

Partisanship is like watching a soap opera. It plays on our need for entertainment, negative entertainment. Instead, "pulling" - the process of pooling ideas and going through a process of dissemination as to which one(s) are the best - provides positive entertainment. Positive breeds positive and negative breeds negative.

The way I try to engage politics or any issue is based on the logic of that issue. Nonetheless, I get pulled into petty arguments at times and fall into what I call the "label trap." Once you label something, including "liberal," "conservative," "right," "left," your unconscious and your conscious begin seeing things in that prism. This falls back to yesterday's blog. It's just like any sort of training or muscle memory process. Just like eating or smoking habits, you have to make a conscious effort to change that prism which, unfortunately, is ingrained in many of us from such an early age.

Just because Peyton Manning finds ways to beat my Jacksonville Jaguars and drives me crazy for the long completions he makes doesn't deny the fact that he's a helluva football player. All it says is that the Jags need to get a better defense.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dixie_Chicks -- This is intolerance of free speech, not to mention the simple fact that the major point of what they said came true. Break through to the merit of the words, not the simple fact that they may not like the guy you like. Break through the black and white and discern as much grey as you can.

Putting aside some manliness for a second:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fwc5YSAc-7g "Not ready to make nice"- Dixie Chicks

Thin-Slicing

I'm reading this book right now called Blink, by Malcolm Gladwell. Many of you may have read the book or some of Gladwell's other best-sellers, The Tipping Point and the most recent release, Outliers. In Blink, Gladwell often refers to something he calls "thin-slicing." In his words, " 'thin-slicing' refers to the ability of our unconscious to find patterns in situations and behavior based on very narrow slices of experience."

Having just gone over the half-way point, I'll refuse to prognosticate on any sort of merits of the book (although, it has been a rediculously fascinating and informative read thus far). What I will do, however, is offer an example I've experienced that I think qualifies as thin-slicing.

Jobs: I wouldn't be writing this blog right now if I hadn't done some serious thin-slicing in my past work life. Only 23, I've run a gammit of tormenting positions: McDonald's fry guy (my dad called this one a real 'character-builder'), non-profits, busboy, host, dishwasher, waiter, administrative office position at Florida State University, Project Coordinator on a DOE-funded research project, Production Assistant in reality TV, telemarketer, tutor, bank teller, and now coach, comedian, and whatever you call this.

Where's the thin-slicing? Has the thin-slicing helped or hindered me?

First off, there's no way I could tear through that many positions if it weren't for a "this job doesn't feel right" thing occurring in my brain. From my interpretation, that's a lot of what thin-slicing is. Intuition and feeling. At many points, and still now, I have trouble verbalizing exactly why the job wasn't for me or why I found them tortuous at times. When I think about it, telemarketing isn't that bad. Even waiting tables or working for a TV show or in an office. But I hated them. And when I try to describe them, maybe my words don't necessarily match how I feel. By the way, Gladwell says that verbalizing can block the picture that pops in our brain and leads to intuition. This he says, is a right vs. left brain thing.

I tend to not believe so much in regrets. But looking back, maybe I'd have thin-sliced more often when it came to jobs. Or at least followed through on my thin-slicing and instead of fallen back into a job that was similar to the one before (restaurant-to-restuarant or office-to-office), maybe I would have been more aggressive with following my intuition. What held me back? Traditional dogma certainly played a role (i.e. make it a goal to not spend a lifetime or multiple jobs "character-building"). What I've found through tutoring, through coaching, through comedy, people pay for things that are good. If you like what you're doing, you'll get good at it. People will pay for it. Don't ever be content with something that isn't making you happy, and if you have to pay the bills, then stick with it, but work to get out of ASAP! Why? You're wasting the only thing you have, life. Not to mention, you bring your miseries onto others. And that's just mean.

Now, is this to say we should always make snap decisions over analytic-type planning? Probably not. I don't know. Read Blink and other stuff out there. Fall on your past experiences, maybe. But I do believe in the power of listening to how you feel. How you feel is unconscious, but listening and interpreting those feelings is conscious. I think the more we can combine our unconscious and conscious and utilize the power of them, or in other words, utilizing the power of rational analysis with gut intuition at appropriate times and places, the better decisions we make.

I had this explained in a very simple way to me. This person told me: recall back to an experience, whether its a specific event or just a specific environment or circumstance. Again, maybe its a theme park or a beach or just sunny days or the feeling of truly accomplishing something you're proud of. Let that sink in. Think to that often and refer to it constantly. Eventually your unconscious mind, where those feelings resonate, will start to translate into unconscious and conscious actions. You'll wind up in your happy place much, much more often.

And I can say, after applying this method for a couple months, it does start to work. And no matter what they say about getting to your happy place, illicit drug use isn't necessary.

"Life is what happens to you while you are busy making other plans."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6XDY2UyMTYE - John Lennon, Beautiful Boy

Performing is Different

It is. Live performing brings out adrenaline. Because, even though you may know the act, you never know the performance. The act is what's planned. For the artist: it is the set list; for the athlete it is the practiced shots or culmination of workouts; for the skilled test taker it is the note taking and endless hours of study.

Performing keeps us alive, though. Because for all that we can control, for all of our work ethic and practice, we can't control the questions asked, the conditions of the course or the audience and stage we'll be performing at.

How cool is it to not know?

The key to being our best (and at the same time, the very counter intuitive part) is focus. It is easy to get swept up in the perceived pressure of performing. If you're a runner who races, you can't help but notice the hundreds if not thousands of other competitors. Not to mention, all the tents, the race clock, the line for the porta potty, the pre-race and post-race chatter, etc. etc. How do you stick to your act? How do you not go out too fast? Your practiced miles and trials?

Focus.

And focus on you.

And focus on the act that you have practiced.

The winner of the race, just like the doctor, just like the Broadway actress, just like the polished comedian was made a long time ago. On muddy trails. In libraries. In evening acting classes and endless summer camps. In dirty clubs with little to no sound systems and even smaller audiences.

I look at performing as a result of a culmination of work. The one who can focus back on the work the best is the one who performs the best. But sometimes we get caught up in the moment. The crowd is too much, the environment is difficult, the pressure is overwhelming.

But take away the competitive aspect. Better yet, take away all the shit you cannot control.

In the end, you're only competing against yourself. Screw others and the circumstances. The coolest thing about performing is discovering self. It's amazing, and it will trump winning a god-damn trophy any day. And when self-discovery is your big picture, you're mind automatically focuses on self and doesn't get caught up in all the hoopla of the performance. It's a bit weird, but true. When you change your end goal to self, embrace the moment for what it is, indirectly, you will become a better competitor. You'll rise above your competition without trying. Why? Because your competition is so focused on what you and the rest are doing. They get sidetracked by the same crap you wanted to but were too disciplined to fall for.

I once knew a coach who looked at a cross country team who won a major cross country meet. After the meet, he took the trophy the team won, and in front of them, threw the trophy in a river. The team beat all the other teams, but they won based on talent, not on performance. They're performance was lack-luster and if thrown into a different arena, maybe the other teams would have kicked their ass. That didn't matter -- the level of competition. It was good enough compared to the others in the same field, but not to the standard they had set for themselves.

This isn't to knock the idea of competition. It's healthy and necessary. However, competition should mostly be saved for the practice range. It's healthy for game-planning, strategy, research.

It is only when performing that one can get in "the zone." The Zone is the zone of one's self, not of me and another performer. So my thoughts: find something you enjoy and start to schedule performances. Feel the adrenaline, the nerves, and the fear that underlies it. Work your butt off to get better when you perform. But always perform. And never worry about your rank. That's all crap anyway. Let self-satisfaction and decency be your guide.

U2 Where The Streets Have No Name: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GpVbLm4TN3g

Open Book

People open up more when they think they are alone. That's the true brilliance behind social networks like facebook, myspace, twitter, match.com (not that I have any experience on the latter). Sure they are mad profitable, but the user buy-in comes down to an instinct in us to open up and share ourselves in a sort of private way -- even if we fill out our profiles in private, we still know people will eventually look at them.

Same thing with music. Lyrics can inspire, but often times the writers and musicians of these songs seem reluctant to open up about the deeper meaning behind the words. On the same note, you won't see me belting out tunes in front of any sort of moderately-sized audience (unless of course I'm offered a sizable sum of money and a couple c-grade hookers). We tend to be most in touch with lyrics as well as our own thoughts and sentiments when we don't have others around.

The obvious reason is that we're embarassed to open-up when others are present. I've heard that the number one fear for Americans (not sure about the Aussies, they are f-in crazy) is public speaking. There's another factor, however. When we are around others, things are more complicated. Our mind is consumed with our surroundings and those who fill it, often times lacking the solitude necessary to articulate or act on the truths we define when our mind is in a simpler and more sedate state. If you don't believe me, just move to California and try pot. You'll open up a lot more in front of others.

I argue, however, that you don't need pot.

What you need is a balance of inspiration and perspiration. In other words, you need inspiration -- long-term motivation to reach some goal, as well as perspiration -- a steady dose of hard work.

Good example: listening to Bruce Springsteen's "Born to Run" and then moving across the country to be follow your passion of music or acting. Bad example: watching Steven Segal jump a building and then trying this on your own or watching Stevo sniff wasabi and then proclaiming in front of a group of testosterone infused males, "anybody could do that!"

And I believe it is the perspiration part that scares all of us. I remember back in high school when I watched the Prefontaine movie, "Without Limits." I took it pretty literally, being extremely inspired. The next morning I had a cross country race. Pre was a front runner, so I figured why not the Cross-Man. Yeah, come mile 2, Cross was no longer a front runner. Why? Maybe I lacked the talent, but talent is hard to measure. What I could control was my work ethic. My perspiration. And that certainly wasn't at the level to put me in front-runner status.

I've noticed something with certain people: Bob Dylan, Bill Belichick, Harrison Ford, my old high school coach Steve Lyons. These people, all extremely good at what they do or did, are men of few words. If you ask them an intricate question about what they do, often times you get an ironically short and simple answer. Why? Maybe they have a limited vocabulary heavily versed, in "yes" and "no" and "maybe." I tend to think it has to do with the fact that these are perspiration people. People who value the work that's necessary to get a desired result and that therein lies most of the answers to the interviewers' questions. Why go any further?

I'm certainly not pithy like Belichick, nor do I necessary feel it is the best way to go all the time. However, I totally get the sentiment. And I appreciate it. Belichick interview following Super Bowl: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h7FNsSl80vM

Inspiration can come in varied ways and can happen everyday: through music, sunshine, rainy days, the beach, a comment from a friend in support of something you've put time and effort into. When you match it with perspiration, simple work, you become more of yourself, both in private and in public.

Song: Me and Julio Down By the Schoolyard, Paul Simon

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wqtX4qZBdRs