Yeah, sure you're "friends" with John Mayer. People think you're cool. You get to hang around in John's entourage. You're part of his crew. You get to free ride off of JM. For the price of being his lackey, you receive hot women, cool parties, probably an assortment of drugs, probably a decent amount of money, arguably good music, tons of Twitter followers and John's witty but thoughtful prose.
Not a bad gig, right?
Not necessarily. I did mention 'the price of being a lackey.' Yeah, that's right. Are you a true friend, or a lackey? Very fine line. And if you're going to be a lackey, you need to have the personality of being a lackey. You have to be able to be a tool. A manservant, if you will. I think the Fresh Prince is calling his Butler Jeffrey now. You can't be your own person if you're a lackey. You're inevitably tied to whomever you are being a lackey for even in whatever independent ventures you involve yourself in. You're universally known as one of "John Mayer's Boys."
Friends are different from lackeys.
Just think if you were to try to introduce your girlfriend to John Mayer. She'd totally want to do him. And could you trust JM? Could you trust your girlfriend? The man has a helicopter made of gold (seriously). Do you think he cares about your feelings? No. He has a helicopter made of gold. And your girlfriend will bang anything with a guitar. And she'll do much more for a man with a helicopter made of gold.
So say you're a normal person. You have goals. You're driven. But now you have the chance to be a friend of John Mayer. What do you do? My answer: as difficult as it may seem, break up with John Mayer before you get a girlfriend. Or don't ever get a girlfriend. Just bang. Find a way to use his fame to tie into yours. Don't look back. Don't feel any shame from using him. Become friends with the band Weezer. They still get a lot of airplay but somehow seem irrelevant on a national scene. You can work off of an aging fan base, linking yourself to a recognizable name, and still date a respectable female that won't be tempted to sling leg for a rock star.
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