The Guy From Five For Fighting Has a Higher Pitched Voice Than James Blunt

I did my own pitch off in my apartment earlier today. Alone. Well, not completely alone. My dog and a handle of Kettle One were within an arm's length at all times while this ground-breaking experiment was taking place.

F.F.F.'s hit "Superman" vs. J.B.'s hit, "You're Beautiful." A steel cage match of effeminate male vocal cords. The result was a slight victory by F.F.F., and me wailing into a recently used and still moist hand towel. Why'd I put this experiment on you may ask? Because I have homoerotic tendencies? No.

Because, by God, I was bored as shit. Sometimes this happens, and you can't be scared to try things. It sure as Hell beat probing around on Facebook all day, or blogging.

A Comedy Called Dying: Part I

When I think about it, I pause. And I lose myself. In the train of thought that accompanies something unattached, distant, abstract and yet, absolute.

Death scares me. But more so, it makes me wonder. I wonder about the crazy events that lead up to now, and the fact that I can walk and talk and think. I wonder if I've lived another life or if I'm going to live another one -- if so, I'd prefer something near the Hamptons. I hear the Autumn there is to die for!

I think about this a lot. Usually, I'm alone in my boxers drinking a cold Coors Light. I know my Coors is cold because it is Cold Activated. When the mountains are blue, it means my beer is as cold as the Rockies. Thanks subversive marketing campaign...now I want to drink and possibly live out my golden years in the great state of Colorado.

It's amazing what we have here. And maybe it's more amazing on the other side? Or the next side? Or maybe there is nothing on the other side? Or...who created sides? Is there a God? Why does He watch me all the time? I do weird things.

But do these questions ever end? Who knows the answer? Should I just not think about it? Should I think about it? Should I go to Church? Because if the crazy dude with the megaphone and hat yelling on the Promenade is right then at least I'll be in the clear! I wonder what an acid trip would do for me? Maybe that crazy dude isn't so crazy after all? Can I even grow a crazy man's beard? Probably not, my facial hair is currently blonde and grows at the rate of a New Jersey lawn.

Though I know these questions don't ever seem to have a period, the one thing I'm quite confident in is the fact that I am sure as hell not the only one to ponder them. Way back when, now and 200 years from now, the same questions have, are and will be asked. 200 years from now, I may know a little more as to the answers.

I hear the phrase frequently, "live as today is your last" or "live in the moment" or variations of these. Is that possible to do? I mean, if I lived as if today was my last, I probably wouldn't wear pants. Anywhere. Just nude. At the grocery store, on my front porch. Not at the dog park. I see bad things happening there.

Really, though. You can't possibly live in the moment all the time, or most of the time. I mean, maybe. But you wouldn't be the most productive person. In fact, you'd have to be like my old roommate. Where the parents buttress your finances and weed and reality tv suction you to a dirty, torn up couch, so much so, that you can see the ass grooves in the middle cushion. True story.

So, I'm left with questions. But I have to have some resolution. Something, I can say, 'ok this is what I think and now I can go to sleep. Now, I can go run. Now, I can read the paper (or now, internet aggregators).' Now, I can go function in society because this little game I'm playing with life and death and living and dying, well, it is fickle and fragile and logic only gets me so far.

So, I resolve that questions are all I have.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eejRZaL9-LQ This song makes me want to dance awkwardly.

Rick Warren: In Hot Water with the Christian Right? Politics vs. Policy

Rick Warren, the pastor who presides over the massive Saddleback Church in Orange County, California, is now taking heat by many who share many of his same view points on social issues. Last week, Warren was on Larry King denying that he ever campaigned and supported Proposition 8, the amendment to ban gay marriage in California. Prior to this week, Warren and President Obama were protested from the left when Warren gave the invocation at Obama's Inauguration.

A good point made by Chris Matthews today...Warren is a pastor, exclusive to some degree to those who follow the same belief system about God. Not rocket science, and hardly controversial is this statement. So why is he so immersed in the political scene?

The answer: Us.

Church vs. State. And the separation, or not, of the two. Religion is something so ingratiated in the fabric of our culture and at the same time, a fine line that his constantly been walked and interpreted by many a political animal.

My argument: Politics is one thing. Policy is another. Politics contains bargaining, negotiating, protesters, people with signs, shenanigans, pursuasive techniques based on ends and not means. Policy is drama-free, a bit unexciting, powerful, meaningful, substantive, and most of all, rational. Policy can be arrived at through the politics of smart and well-intentioned people.

What Do I Mean By This? Marriage is a lawful contract that legally binds two people, allowing for, among other things, the benefit of joint health insurance and tax breaks. Marriage doesn't have to be done at a Church or any other religious institution. The Church is a ceremonial place, bent on tradition and dogma. Fine. I find the same tradition and dogma at the beach. But marriage, the legal contract it is, has just as much to do with a Church as does a beach. Meaning, it doesn't. A separation of Church and State that's already built into our system.

So why is this an issue to literally rewrite the rules to ban gay marriage, or how the Christian Right says, define it as a binding contract between a man and a woman? Politics. Not Policy.

John Mayer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uPOBMzMTP4U